It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize