K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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