the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
