I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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