I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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