She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
