So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
