Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize