Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
