Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
