that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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