big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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