went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize