Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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