do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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