My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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