some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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