I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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