I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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