Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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