just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
