great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
