Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
