piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
