Just fell off a train. Bad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
