Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well you can't waste a boner
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
