I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize