so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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