I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
