it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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