I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
