He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
