just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
