He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
