sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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