Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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