I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
two words...techno handjob
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
