carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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