I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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