no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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