we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
