Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
