My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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