I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
