It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
