used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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