Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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