Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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