what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
