getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
