The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
