She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
