And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize