Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
