are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
