No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
