dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
