We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
