i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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