Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize