Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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