imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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