I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
