Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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