Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
