I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
honey bunches of taint.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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