So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
