ugly people sure do ruin things
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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