I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
