i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
its liver damage thursday
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize