Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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