**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
