I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
