remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
