Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
