the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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