thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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