you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
