hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
