you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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